Day 85: My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Well parts of my day yesterday were terrible, horrible, no good, and very bad.  I knew the time had come for me to trek up the highway to the school I teach at to retrieve curriculum materials b/c it’s not like I can just walk in the door on April 12th and be ready to go.  (I chose to go on a Friday b/c I work at a small Alternative high school and Friday’s are for meetings and students to catch up so no classes are going on.)

So after all the ooohing and ahhhing at Abby (I mean who could blame them…Abby was wearing this Liberty of London for Target dress I purchased the day before) questions stared arising as to my impending return.

Yes I took a lot of time off.  No I am not looking forward to coming back.  Yes it would be nice if our culture allowed me to bring Abby to work with me (:::picturing in my head going over fragment sentences whilst Abby naps in the sling:::). No I don’t have family who can watch Abby.  Yes she will be going to daycare. (And this is the part where I excuse myself and say to them, “Well, I guess I better come here to do what I planned on doing.  Buh Bye.”)

At this point, our office manager (let’s call her “L”) came back from lunch and she’s always down for chilling with Abby so I asked her to accompany to the classroom and amuse Abby while I rifle through my desk and file cabinets.  My long term sub was in the room and so were a few students.  I was fine until I opened the first file cabinet.  I got a lump in my throat and started tearing up.  This was really happening.  I was really going back to work.

A student asked if I was happy to be coming back.  And I was brutally honest.  “Not really.”  (She’s an awesome and favorite student and she deserved some honesty from me…b/c if there’s one thing I’ve learned about working with Alternative kids it’s that the more brutally honest you are with them, the more willing they are to buy into what you are trying to sell them.)  She kind of looked at me quizzically.  I knew if I kept talking, I would just break down.  So then L took the lead and was like, “Well, if you had this cutie, would you want to leave her?”  (I couldn’t have put it better….I mean look at that cutie to the right.)

I think I truly would have started crying right then and there if it wasn’t for the fact that I had a mission, which was to retrieve the materials I needed and leave as soon as possible.  I was a mess, though.  I couldn’t remember where a few things where.  And I knew before I left on maternity leave that I purposefully put my plan books in plain view in preparation for this day.  After noticing that I was confused and bewildered L asked me what I was looking for.  And of course she spotted them right away.

Once I double checked my tote bag, I looked around the room and that’s when I started to freak even more.  If you are a teacher, you know that a big part of creating a classroom environment is setting expectations,  setting standards, configuring the room a certain way…all so that kids will know what to expect of you and will make teaching them a heck of a lot easier.  And the room was a mess (messier than I ever kept it and I can be pretty messy at times) and the desks were all in the wrong place and there were rules written on the board that are not mine.  I mean, I was a long term sub before landing my full time gig and I didn’t mess with the other teacher’s mojo.  That’s just not right.  That’s just not fair.  Because that teacher has to come back at some point.  I’m seriously miffed!  (At this point the long term sub was no longer in the room, or else I might not have been able to hold my tongue.)  And then I remembered following some emails about a student who was failing b/c the my sub never checked for her work in the turn in bins I set up.  GAH!  It takes weeks to get kids to know your teacher routines and she’s turned them all around.  (Ok, I really could keep going on this, but I’m starting to get more in the venting territory and that’s when the writing gets sloppy, so I will stop on this topic.)

I walked out of the room only able to keep it together b/c there was more ooohing and ahhhing over Abby from a few students in the hallway.

Abby napped during the car ride home, which meant she wasn’t going to be down for taking her usual afternoon nap.  As well, my car veered itself into the Arby’s drive thru. (:::raise your hand if you are an emotional eater:::)

When I got home, I took Abby upstairs to change her diaper and then I noticed the smell….the horrible part of my day…the freaking dog pooped in two rooms and peed in the hallway, which is carpeted.  GAH!

Abby was such a cutie for the rest of the day, even though she didn’t take a nap till 5pm.  And even with a throbbing headache, my day turned out all right b/c, well, I have Abby and an amazing husband and we spent the early evening playing and giggling and nomnomnoming on first tastes of oatmeal, while squeeing in glee (<–Abby, not me).  And b/c I know that things like this will always be waiting for me at home, I will make it through my impending work days…whatever terriible, horrible, no good, very bad work days they may be.  It won't be easy at first, but I know I will get through it.

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