Diapers to Diamonds… 

When I found out the topic I would be blogging about would be “what I am most excited about with regard to watching Teva grow up (e.g. seeing her graduate high school, seeing her personality come out)”, I kinda threw up in my mouth a little.  It’s an excellent topic, it really is……but my BABY growing up?!?!  Yup, there goes my gag reflex.

I am absolutely a “glass half full” kinda gal.  And let’s face it, I am completely obsessed enamored with my daughter.  I love every smile, fart, and giggle.  I can’t wait to see how she blossoms or where her talents lie. I’m looking forward to every. single. second. But do I really have to start writing thinking about this now???? I logically understand that she will, in fact, grow up. I mean, six months have flown by already!!!!  And I want her grow up (my fear of hooker boots aside), I really do…….but I’m just not ready or able to wrap my brain around it.  Are you trying to send me to the nut house?

Just walking by the ‘tween section at Target makes me weak in the knees.  To think that the vintage fairy prints I lovingly chose for her nursery could one day be replaced with posters of a future Justin Bieber…….ohmygodIthinkI’mhavingapanicattack. The thought of her jutting her hip out, cocking her head, and rolling her eyes at me…….I’mdevelopinganulcer. 

I know that her future holds such promise.  My hope is that her life is chock full of beauty and happiness, and rich with experience.  It’s easy to dream of the joy and wonderment of her first “real” Christmas, or beaming through her ballet recital, and birthday parties surrounded by loving family (But NO clowns.  Definitely no clowns)  But with all the awesomeness comes the scary stuff too.  Me being old, for one.  And skinned knees, broken bones, broken hearts, driving, drugs, bullies, and boys! BOYS……Iamliterallyshaking.    

I now completely understand what my own mother must have been feeling when she compulsively grabbed my prom date by the lapel and said through clenched teeth (and this is verbatim, because when something this traumatically embarrassing happens to you – you remember it) “Keep your penis away from my daughter! Bye!  Have a nice time!”  Yes, that actually happened.  Come to think of it, I dated that boy for months and he never so much as tried to make-out with me. (Note to Self: use this scary mom tactic). 

I know there’s so much to look forward to but, there’s just so much that makes my heart skip a beat.  Because I love this little girl more than I can possibly say, and I’ll do my damndest to protect her.  But I can’t protect her from everything, and some mistakes have to be made so she can learn and grow from them.  One day she’ll trade her pacifier for a lollipop, and then lollipops for lip stick…….and high heels, boys, graduations, then the boy, and a wedding dress (preferably in that order) will be here before I can blink.  I can already hear myself using phrases ‘scary mom tactics’ gleaned from my own mother….”Your body is your temple, just so long as no one worships there”. (Yes, my mother actually said this…practically every day of my teenage life).

So, I’m just gonna live in the moment.  The future will be here soon enough.  And not because I’m scared (seriously, when you have a daughter boys become S-C-A-R-Y).  But because I know that her future will be more wonderful than anything I can possibly ever imagine………I’mgoingtogocrynow.

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…and if you missed all the clicks,upfront, click here to check out Eliza’s blog.

…and later today I will have a quick Sunday extra giveaway for you.