As a clinical social worker in private practice for 18 years I have been counseling families on a wide variety of parenting issues from dealing with tantrums, discipline, bottle weaning to of course, sleep. Over the last 14 years families have sought me out to help them with their child’s sleep. My clinical background in child development and adult psychology has helped me immensely in creating individualized approaches to help the entire family’s well being. I factor in your parenting philosophy, your child’s age, health and temperament, mother’s well being and the related family dynamics.
For those who have not read my book they ask, “What’s your philosophy? Are you a CIO proponent or family bed advocate? Do I have to stop breast feeding to sleep coach my child, do I have to choose between two camps: co-sleeping/no crying or crib/cry-it-out?”
I don’t believe you need to pick a camp; this isn’t about right or wrong. It’s about what is working for you and your family.
It is true that the CIO method and the starker extinction methods can work well and a bit faster then gentler methods IF you as the parent can follow through consistently and for long enough.
I developed my more gradual gentle method because I found so many parents had difficulty following through with a sleep coaching program that they fear will damage their child emotionally or fill them with so much guilt they couldn’t follow through.
My approach is a gentler alternative for families who emotionally or philosophically resist letting their babies cry it out: for families who tried “Ferber” and it didn’t work, and for families who let their infant CIO at 3 or 4 months but found it didn’t help later. I have also helped families who believe in co-sleeping but find that their children aren’t really sleeping all that well, even nestled snugly with Mom and Dad. And I have helped guide many families who did co-sleep for a few months to a few years but now want the family bed to revert back to the marital one.
Much of my work is with babies between 6 and 18months whose pediatricians agree should be able to sleep through the night. But if your child is older, don’t worry its not too late to improve her sleep, although it may take longer to break habits that are more deeply ingrained. I have helped numerous toddlers, many sets of twins, triplets and even a set of quadruplets and more than a smattering of school aged children.
Answers to some frequently asked questions:
-This is NOT a “cookie cutter” approach. You can use part of my method or the whole thing- or use it for nights and not naps.
-I support breastfeeding! It is not necessary to end breastfeeding to successfully sleep coach your child. I will help you gently move away from using nursing as your sole and primary sleep crutch.
-I work with parents of children ages newborn to 5 years old over the phone and all over the globe.
-You can continue to room share while sleep coaching.
-I can not guarantee “no crying”…no one really can. For example, if you as the parent have taught your child that the way to fall asleep is to be held to sleep for all naps, bedtimes and wakings and you decide that you want to change this, your child will naturally resist this change. After all, they don’t know why you have changed yo
ur approach. If your child is pre-verbal then they will cry. My goal is to have as little crying as possible. I encourage parents be loving and responsive but to allow the child the room to learn this vital life skill of putting themselves to sleep. The parent responds and stays with their child and offers physical and verbal reassurance without putting the child to sleep. This supports the development of a secure attachment between parent and child.
-If your child is healthy and you are consistent, I have a 95% success rate.
The art of putting yourself to sleep is a priceless gift you can give to your child and your entire family.
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And now The Sleep Lady would like to offer one of my readers their very own The Good Night Sleep Tight Workbook. This is a great straight forward approach to showing you how to use her techniques. And as someone who took a whole class in assessment and how to write precise instructions for all types of students, I have to say that you will appreciate how easy to follow this workbook is.
So How to Enter…it’s an easy one: All you have to do is leave me a comment telling me why it is so important to support other mommies, especially when it comes to a sleep deprived new momma just trying to figure things out.
Extra Entry: Tweet about this giveaway…you can use this one:
Win your own @TheSleepLady sleep tight workbook from @metta1313 http://bit.ly/96dLGj #giveaway
(and of course leave me a comment telling me you tweeted)
Entries will be open for a week. I will use random.org to select a winner.
Being a mom to a sleepless child is already hard enough WITHOUT nasty snarky comments from people who don’t know jack about what’s going on in your life. I should know… J doesn’t sleep. As a result, I fully support Diana’s quest to learn how to help Bella sleep. Because that’s really what it’s about, right? Teaching your child how to fall asleep without help. That’s a good thing. And I think it’s ridiculous to not support that.
That’s a long comment. Also, I haven’t slept in a long time. Can I have a book now?
Wow this is interesting…frankly rude comments are not cool. To each their own. My hubby and I sleep with the little one but it is our business.
plesae do not enter me in the giveaway, I jsut wanted to comment. I don’t want a copy of your giveaway book because I already have a copy. A well thumbed copy. I also have Healthy Sleep Habits Happy (Healthy?) Baby (Child?) and the No Cry Sleep Solution.
For US The Sleep Lady’s techniques have worked the best of all of the methods we’ve researched. I think that’s because of a combination of our temperments and our daughter’s. The Sleep Lady Shuffle really works for us, and I have to say she has some great info in the book about how to get BACK into routine when you get pulled out of it (vacay, illness, etc)that we’ve found EXTREMELY helpful.
Best of luck mama, it’s hard going back, and mastering the sleep situation was key to my working mom success.
If you’re a first time mom then, naturally, you’re new at this. We only do what we feel is right and what will work for our babies and our families. Everyone who’s a parent has been there at some point, so there is no reason to judge one another! We’re just trying to make it work in this crazy world of parenthood!
I tweeted @lifewithvivian
Until babies start coming with their own manuals, I think that we should cut each other some slack. What works for one, may or may not work for someone else.
the sleep discussion is a mine field. it helps to have support. my son is 13 months old and still wakes up at 445am. i do not call that STTN everyone is sleep deprived and we are all at our wits end. maybe I should contact the sleep lady cause by 13 mos he should be sleeping a full night…
tweeted
I need to try something different. This baby is so different than my others and I’m at a loss and willing to try anything.
I support supporting moms because we are truly the only other people on this planet that can relate to what we go through.
New mamas need major support.. Those who don’t have kids don’t know =)
I tweeted!
@my3adorablekids
my3adorablekids@yahoo.com
I don’t know what I wouldve done if it hadn’t been for the support of my IRL mom friends. Sleep deprivation is hell on wheels, and if you can help out another momma in that trying time, why wouldn’t you?
Every family is different, and every baby within a family is unique. As moms we need to be supportive and understand that our experiences aren’t everyone’s experiences! Snarky comments and such are so hurtful and can cause moms to withdraw from what should be supportive communities. Ok, off my soapbox, would love to win this for a friend who is so sleep-deprived!
I tweeted! Thanks again for the opportunity!