Day 126: I Surrender!
Being a working momma, I’ve decided that some things are more important than others. Like prioritizing household chores. And now that I’m almost a month into getting back to work, I’m realizing that the “mojo” that I’ve been trying to get back into with keeping the house in order is probably never going to return…that I need to figure out what my new mojo will be.
Last Saturday, before the hubs was leaving to go to an MLS game, I was feverishly trying to get some chores done. (Let me just say here that it’s not that it’s all my responsibility to take care of the house…the hubs does his share as well…but I have certain things I like to do, cause well, I’ve been known to be a control freak at times.) I managed to vacuum one floor of the house and then collapsed in exhaustion…more from my brain being exhausted really.
I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t pretend that I can figure it out.
Before he was about to leave for the game, and after said collapse, the three of us were lying on our bed, playing and giggling. I then turned to him and said that I need to figure this stuff out. That I just don’t have time to do certain things anymore. That I just feel guilty when Abby is awake and I’m not hanging out with her. I just can’t figure out how to do it all.
At this point, I’m taking tips from my Babyproofing Your Marriage book here…when I do have time to read a few pages. I’m currently on the chapter about the way we keep score on things. Instead of approaching the hubs with things like, “Why can’t you help out more?” and “You suck,” (that’s what my gut wants to say sometimes out of sheer exhaustion and stress even though he does a hell of a lot around the house) I decided to just communicate my feelings about me and how I’m feeling like a failure. Because really, communication is key instead of holding grudges when it comes to maintaining sanity in our marriage.
Wanna know his response? Did he tell me to buck up? Did he tell me to prioritize my time better? Did he tell me to stop blogging?
NOPE!
He said something to the nature of why don’t we have someone clean the house like every two weeks. Music to my ears!
I felt such relief. I started smiling again. I started letting go of things. I surrendered to my attempts at being a domestic goddess…you know where I have my cake and eat it too. It was like in an instant I went from my head being ready to explode to having the lid on my brain unscrewed a little bit to relieve the pressure.
Of course we can’t afford super fancy national chains, so we are starting to ask around for a reliable service. Now if Iwe can just find the time to search and interview people. Now if I can just remember to start asking around for suggestions b/c I’m so freaking busy, I’ve resorted to taping notes to my travel coffee mug at night to remind myself of things I need to do in the morning before students arrive at school.
Either way, I’m starting to figure out this new working momma mojo…where I accept the things I cannot change instead of festering over them and feeling down. Now to figure out other things to take up my time stressing about.
6 Comments to “Day 126: I Surrender!”
Leave a Reply
Sa-weet!!!! A cleaning lady! That’s awesome!
Way to go Momma! Hmmm, I’m wondering if I should get that book. Do you like it so far. I know Blair has raved about it.
Cleaning services are magical! Way to go!
You’re doing a wonderful job! Keep it up with your new mojo, in whatever form that takes!
Duuuuude. I am SO jealous. I wish our budget allowed for a cleaning person. Baby smiles should totally be currency. We’d be loaded.
I am completely jealous. So are my dishes.
You’re gonna LOVE having a housecleaner! Although, as I told you, I actually clean less now b/c I’m all “Well they just came on Wed, so why should I clean this weekend?” And then the next weekend I’m like “They’re coming next Wed, why clean today?” It’s sad.
But still totally worth it.
Having a house cleaner saved my marriage…i’m talking pre-baby here. We would argue over how to clean a bathroom and would get annoyed that it took away the limited time we have together. Now our cleaning lady helps with laundry too – she’s a life saver!